I actually began the day with optimism. My students came into my room saying, “I missed you, Miss Sinclair! I missed you!” Some of them ran over and gave me hugs. One of them even brought me a present from his trip to Indiana.
I was touched. I was thinking, “Alright, maybe my students realized how much they need a strict adult to hold them to higher standards.”
Then I tried to start class. That was the end of that.
Children are stupid creatures. What makes it worse is that they act like they know everything. My students were off for a week. They might as well have been off for a year. They had forgotten our routines and procedures. I had to remind them that they have to raise their hands to speak.
I had to argue with our policies on the bathrooms. And Tyrese proved that his life’s purpose is to make my life a living hell. I don’t think he sat in his desk once all day. He wandered around the classroom for most of the morning. I asked him twice to take a seat. He replied with, “I will, I will. In a minute, Miz Sinclair.” And he continued to wander.
I can’t physically touch him. I can’t force him to behave. I can’t threaten him because I have nothing to threaten him with. I should threaten to hold him back a grade. But I can’t. It doesn’t matter if he never sits down all year. He’ll still move on to 3rd grade.
I can’t threaten to call his mother. His mother has no control over him.
I can’t threaten to send him to the office. Because he’ll enjoy the attention and then just get sent back to class after 20 minutes and he’ll miss out on valuable instruction time.
He has all the power. I wish I could beat him. I wish I could take a yard stick and smack the black off that fucking kid.
And I’m stuck with him for 3 more months. I’m not going to make it.