“I REALLY Don’t Want to Go Back to School” Sunday January 8, 2017

I remember as a kid dreading going back to school after a break. I always hated waking up early. But, deep down I think I liked going back to school. I got to see all of my friends and I usually missed my teacher. I think I liked being back in the routine. Don’t get me wrong, I also loved being home with nothing to do, but as a kid you take days like those for granted. I honestly felt most days off of school I was actually bored.

Which makes going back to school as an adult so much more difficult because I treasured my time off so much. I can’t believe break is already over. I didn’t get half of the stuff done that I expected.

5cf5659440622a091e6da513990af39088ca01d6d8df38900eb4cafebe750bda_1And understand that when I say, “I don’t want to go to work tomorrow,” that’s not like a, “I don’t want to workout today” or “I don’t want to eat my vegetables” attitude. It’s more like a “I don’t want to rip my fingernails off with a pliers.”

Honestly, it’s going to take all of my will power to wake up tomorrow morning and go to school. I already know I won’t be able to sleep tonight. I don’t even remember what condition I left my classroom. I’ll plan on getting there early, but I have a feeling my body will resist leaving my bed in the morning.

It’s bad enough that Colin and I are broken up. Whether or not we ever said if we were officially together. I don’t even have somebody to hype me up about tomorrow. To tell me that it’s going to go great. I have Zooey, but she’s to preoccupied with her own serious boyfriend and her brother’s wedding to give two shits about my life. I’m lucky if I can talk to her for five minutes before she turns the conversation on herself. Is it too much to ask to have somebody be completely absorbed in my problems? I haven’t even had the chance to talk to her about what happened between my and Colin. I actually did that thing where you text somebody asking them “how’s it going?” only so that they’ll ask about you to Ashley. We haven’t been keeping in touch much, but she at least gave me a “that sux!” and “you don’t need him!”

I think this semester I should spend more time getting to know my coworkers. It’d be nice to have some closer work friends. I do spend 1/3rd of my life at work. Betty seems really nice, too. I’m sure she’s just as stressed out as I am.

I should be looking at tomorrow as a fresh start. I can re-train my students so that they are better about following procedures. I can be more strict and focus on following through with threats. I can have fresh attitude and act happy and pretend like I love my job.

But instead I sense my kids will be out of control having had to demands placed on them the last two weeks. I can only pray that perhaps they really did miss school and will be happy to return.

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