Actually, I shouldn’t say the day was wasted, because that’s cruel to my friend. I met up with one of my friends from college today for a lunch date. She also became a teacher. We were in the same teaching program and graduated at the same time.
To be completely honest, I was flattered that she wanted to get together. We certainly didn’t make any promises to get together the last time we saw each other or even to stay in touch for that matter. We’re friends on Facebook and from what she’s been posting it sounds like her life is going awesome. She got engaged right before Christmas to her long time boyfriend, she found a teaching job too and seems to love it, she’s in great shape and like to post pictures of her at the gym showing off her body.
Honestly, I can’t believe she even has time to work out. She admitted that teaching is a lot of work but she didn’t seem as overwhelmed and stressed out as I was.
She was like, “I know! I have to bring work home every night, but it’s not so bad. My kids are really sweet!”
I wanted to punch her in her perfectly proportioned face. I felt like maybe she noticed that I’m not constantly bragging about how great my life is on Facebook, or maybe how I broke up with my boyfriend and she wanted to call me up and brag about how great her life is.
We were good friends in college and I don’t remember there being a lot of bullshit, but maybe there was. I dunno. I just got a little sick of hearing about her wedding. Why is it when girls get engaged all they want to do is talk to single girls about how they’re getting married and how their wedding is going to be so beautiful.
She asked about me and Johnny and I gave her the short version. I brought up Colin and made him sound way better than he actually is. And I’m aware of how competitive I was acting, but I can’t seem to stop being that way.
Deep down I want my life to be perfect and everyone else to be miserable. I want to walk around and talk about my perfect job, my perfect house, my perfect fiancee, my perfect body, and my perfect life. And I want everyone to envy me. I want people to look at me and think, “I wish I was Jessica Sinclair.”
Because I honestly felt like my friend invited me to lunch just so she can compare her life to mine and then walk away feeling better about her life. She wants me to be miserable so that way she can feel better about herself because we started out the same. We were even when we started student teaching. Now she’s winning and I’m losing. Oh, but we made nice-nice and hugged and “promised to do this again.” Bullshit.