“Talking to Grandma” Monday December 26, 2016

ch901226I talked to my grandmother on the phone this morning. It’s so awkward. Actually, not really that awkward. She just talks about herself anyway. She’s not the type of grandma to ask me about my life or even call to check up on me. She doesn’t even send me Christmas gifts anymore. She lives a couple of hours away, too. But nobody likes her so we don’t visit. And she accuses us of not liking her so she refuses to visit us, too.

But for some reason my mom was talking to her this morning. I made the mistake of walking in the room while my mom was on the phone and my mom said, “Oh, Jessie just walked in the room, did you want to talk to her?”

I didn’t hear my grandma, but I’m sure it was a very falsetto “Sure!” and meanwhile I’m giving my mother the frantic arms-waving-back-and-forth-begging-her-to-not-put-me-on-the-phone-with-her sign. But then my mom made that silent “do it!” face and I was forced to talk to the old hag.

“Hi, Grandma!” I said with as much fake enthusiasm as I could muster.
“Hi, Sweetheart. How are you?”

“I’m okay, how are you?”
“Oh, you know. My arthritis has been really bad this winter.”

“Oh yeah?”
“My doctor has got me on this medication. It’s probably something you kids would like. Makes me all loopy.” (then she laughs at her own joke)

“Well, go easy on that stuff, Grandma.”
“I will, I will.”

Uncomfortable silence. Then she asks, “Is your mother still there?”

That’s what it’s like to talk to my grandma.

Also, it’s now three days and Colin hasn’t texted me back. This isn’t the first time that he’s disappeared like this. I’m paranoid that he’s back with his ex-girlfriend. But he hasn’t posted anything online. So, last night I texted him a suggestive picture and told him that I have a present for him to open. I didn’t send it too late. I hope if he was with his ex-girlfriend she was around him when I sent it. That should teach him 😉


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