“My Students Regressed Over the Long Weekend” Monday November 14, 2016

IdiotKidsWe’re getting into subtraction in math and I have to say that even I’m struggling to explain how to break apart numbers to make 10’s. But OH MY GOD it’s like they’ve never even seen numbers before!

Not only is learning new skill in mathematics a seemingly impossible feat for this infantile simpletons, but they can’t remember the basic procedures of the classroom such as raising your hand to speak, not talking while I’m talking, and staying in your seat during work time. Many of my students couldn’t follow these rules today. Many of them broke all three rules at once.

It was one of those days where they were super hyper which counteracted my complete lack of energy. And explaining things to them was a total waste of time because I’m now convinced that children do not hear any of the words I say aloud.

“Guys, we’re going to have snack after literacy because we’re supposed to have a fire drill at 10am.”

A minute later.

“Can we have our snack now?”

“First of all, you need to raise your hand. And second of all, I already said no, we’re going to have snack after literacy.”

“Why?”

“Because we’re supposed to have a first drill during snack time.”

“We’re having a fire drill?! Awesome!!” “We already had a fire drill!”
“I hate fire drills!” “Do you think the fire department will come?”
“I love fire drills!” “That’d be cool if they started a real fire and had to put it out.” “Can I be the line leader for the fire drill?!”

“Everyone needs to quiet down. Now, who can tell me what the main character is in a story?”

“Wait. When are we having a fire drill?”

“I already told you at 10 o’clock.”

“But that’s our snack time?! What about snack?!”
“She already said that we’re not going to have snack.”
“NO! She said that we have snack after the fire drill.”

Then the fire alarm finally goes off…

“WHAT IS THAT?! WHAT’S HAPPENING RIGHT NOW?” “OH MY GOD! IT’S SO LOUD!”
“IT’S NOT THAT LOUD! LOOK I CAN YELL LOUDER THAN IT! AHHH! AHHH! AHHH!”

At which point we had the fire drill and the excitement of walking outdoors and standing on the sidewalk for 10 minutes was enough to throw everybody off for the rest of the day.

In personal news, Colin broke it off with his girlfriend. He thanked me for talking to him the other night and said he’d like to see me again if I’m ever free. I told him I’m really busy with my job, but maybe we could hang out over the weekend. He also friended me on Facebook. I’m thinking that he chose to friend me now to prove he’s not in a relationship.

Speaking of relationship status, “It’s complicated” Johnny texted me asking if I wanted to hang out tonight or any other night this week. I did not reply. I don’t want to tell him “no,” but I also definitely don’t want to see him right now.

 

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